The fact is that so many do and that child abuse is the worst of all crimes. When a child is being abused often someone knows or suspects. The child is learning to keep a cruel dark secret that is so damaging but someone often DOES know or suspect something is going on. The child's behavior changes in ways we can see if we don't pretend not to, if we don't avoid our pain, if we look, accept and act.

What is child abuse? Child abuse can be physical beatings, sexual or emotional cruelty. The most obvious kinds of abuse are physical beating and sexual abuse but emotional abuse is so damaging.

Physical abuse beatings, starving, physical neglect and sexual abuse are cruel and vicious crimes... So too is emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse can be deliberate, subconscious or both. It is the systematic diminishment of another person. Love and respect are the birth right of every one of our children to deprive them of this is emotional abuse. I'm sure we have all been in a public place and cringed when we have heard an adult tell a child such things as "You're so stupid" or You're good for nothing".

Recently in my doctor's waiting room a child next to me aged around 5 years asked his mother for something to eat and the mother replied "Aren't you fat enough, look at you, you're disgusting. Now sit still shut up and don't speak to me for the rest of the day", this is emotional abuse and many children are told these things day in and day out until they have no self love, self worth or self respect.

Our children are being abused at all ages in every country in the world.

Child abuse is so damaging, the physical scars can last a lifetime, the emotional scars do last a lifetime. The abused child can physically heal, the abused child can emotionally heal in time and often does not. The abused child can with help move on, the abused child does not forget.

As a counselor I have seen many symptoms of abuse, as a survivor I have experienced many symptoms of abuse.

Abuse scars the heart and damages the soul. It destroys the child's self concept leading them to think they are no good and unworthy and can lead to extreme difficulty in any close relations with others. Abused children can follow a life pattern of being abused believing this is what they deserve in life, that is their own fault. It is not. Abuse can lead to substance abuse, alcohol and or drugs and a life time or treatment for the symptoms and not the cause.

The abused child can repeat the pattern and go on to abuse their own children or others. 

We MUST stop this cycle of abuse.

We tell our children not to talk to strangers, don't we? To keep them safe from harm. Yet child abuse is rarely perpetrated by strangers, it is usually someone the child knows and trusts, someone we know and trust..

Parents abuse children, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches, baby sitters, youth leaders, church leaders, neighbors and  family friends are statistically more likely to be a child's abuser than a stranger.

I am sure we have all heard, if not understood, why a child keeps the abuse a "secret". Told by the perpetrator of this cruel crime that no one will believe them, the child has been educated from a very early age to believe their elders and to trust them. Fear of breaking up the family, losing whatever love they may have in their lives. Fear that what is being done to them will become worse if they tell, many children I have spoken to have told me their abuser told them they will kill them if they tell and even that they will kill other members of their family. Told that they will be taken away, locked up and punished. Shame, believing it to be their own fault, educated to believe it is their own fault. So many children are told that they are bad and deserve what they get. NO child is bad, every child is born pure, innocent and loving.

How often people know a child is being abused physically or emotionally and say it is not their business, they cannot and will not get involved. It is your business, it is everyone's business to love and protect the children.

If you know or suspect that a child is being abused and are scared to call someone, scared of repercussions or just not acting on it because you are not sure. Contact me. Email me and tell me what you know or suspect and I will listen. No one would tell the abuser/s who informed them, no agency calls round and says your neighbor Mrs. X says you are abusing your son/daughter. If you really feel you cannot call someone yourself... I can so write to me about it, I know who to contact and where and I will.

If you are being abused or have been abused I WILL believe you, I will listen. Write to me about anything at any time, I will understand, I will listen and I WILL BELIEVE YOU.

~ Bunny ~